Question from a reader:
Regarding Masahiro Nakai, I find it very puzzling to see the actions of the victim being criticized online. For example, it seems that people are questioning whether “sexual violence really happened” because she went to work the day after the incident, ate cake, mentioned on the radio that she had a boyfriend, and posted smiling photos. However,
is it really necessary for someone who has experienced such trauma to remain sad all the time? I think it’s strange to assume that showing a smile is a lie. Even after experiencing sexual violence, some people have to go to work, and many may act normally because they don’t want those around them to notice anything amiss. Isn’t the assumption that “she seems fine, so it must be a lie” a form of secondary victimization? What do you think about the mindset that dictates how a victim should behave?
Thoughts on Victim Behavior and Societal Reactions
Recently, I’ve been feeling uneasy seeing the victim’s actions criticized in relation to Masahiro Nakai. Particularly, the judgment that her going to work, eating cake, or posting smiling photos on social media the day after the incident means “it must be a lie” seems utterly ridiculous. In our daily lives, we often show smiles even amidst difficult times. As a parent, I want to be a cheerful dad in front of my children, and doing so helps me feel a bit better myself.
The Difficulty of Understanding a Victim’s Inner World
I don’t believe that just because someone has been victimized, they need to be sad all the time. In fact, behaving normally might be a way of protecting themselves. I have a friend who, when going through tough times, acts cheerful to avoid worrying those around her. She always carries snacks and, no matter how busy she is, shares them with me while saying, “Let’s eat this and feel better!” Watching her, I realize that smiles and cheerfulness are not just superficial; they can reflect a deeper strength and resourcefulness.
Contemplating Secondary Victimization
To assume “she seems fine, so it must be a lie” is indeed a form of secondary victimization. It’s important for us to step back and consider the victim’s situation and emotional state. Especially in the world of social media, there are many people quick to criticize, but I hope they take a moment to understand the feelings behind those actions. I find myself sometimes lost in the discussions online, and when emotions run high, it’s easy to lose the ability to think clearly.
I’d Like to Hear Everyone’s Opinions
What do you all think about this topic? If you have had similar experiences or feelings, please share in the comments. There are many people around us who are doing their best every day, and I hope we can create a space for mutual support. Just like sharing snacks, it would be wonderful if we could share our feelings as well!
