Question from a reader:
What is the psychology behind people who repeatedly speak ill of others? I’m curious about what they are thinking.
Understanding the Psychology of Those Who Speak Ill of Others
Recently, while chatting with a friend at a café, the topic came up: “What is the psychology of people who repeatedly talk bad about others?” It’s something I’ve
been curious about for a long time, so I got pretty passionate about it. I remember my voice getting a bit louder, thanks to the café atmosphere.
A Defense Mechanism to Protect Themselves
The first thought that crossed my mind is that people who speak ill of others often feel oppressed. They may be envious, believing they are not valued as much as others. In fact, a friend once complained, “She always talks badly about me.” This friend, despite receiving love from those around her, seemed to harbor a fear of being abandoned deep down.
Desire for Self-Expression and Superiority
There is also a psychological aspect where people want to belittle others to assert that they are superior. This feeling tends to be particularly strong during university years. For example, when a member of a club talks badly about another member, it creates an uncomfortable feeling. Being present in that moment, one might fall into the illusion that speaking ill of others somehow makes them feel special.
The Cost of Speaking Ill
Some people relieve their frustrations by speaking negatively about others. When stress builds up from university classes or part-time jobs, it can lead to badmouthing those around them. However, upon reflection, they often don’t realize that this behavior makes them appear poorly to others. The reactions from those around them matter, and ultimately, it brings no benefits to themselves.
Conclusion
It has become clear that there are various psychological backgrounds to speaking ill of others. Sometimes, it is a way to organize one’s feelings, but it usually doesn’t have a positive impact on relationships. It’s understandable to feel uncomfortable around people who engage in this behavior. What do you all think? I would love to hear your experiences with people who speak ill of others and how you deal with it. Looking forward to your comments!
