Question from a reader:
I was secretly preparing to move away from my parents, who have a tendency for emotional abuse, but my new address was discovered. As a result, my parents’ emotional abuse has intensified, and I consulted the police. The police advised me that since my address is known, it would be better not to go there. They also
pointed out that the situation of emotional abuse is abnormal. They told me that if I don’t want to stay at home, I should stop going back. If I have a place to go, they suggested I consult the police there. Currently, I am at a friend’s house, and my friend has agreed to this. I also went to the police and was reminded to keep my whereabouts confidential. After that, I had deleted my mother from LINE and my contacts, but I received a text message saying, “Don’t forget that the police are acting because of your lies.” Am I going to get caught? Does this mean I am lying? My friend told me to come after discussing my family situation, but I am worried about being a burden. What should I do? Should I go back to my parents’ house? I am very confused right now, and my writing may be unclear, but I appreciate your help.

Escaping Emotional Abuse: Considering Legal and Psychological Perspectives

Recently, I have been receiving many consultations from people suffering from emotional abuse. In particular, emotional abuse from parents is difficult to escape from because, unlike physical violence, it is not visible from the outside. This time, I would like to provide advice based on a specific question from a reader, considering both legal and psychological perspectives.

Organizing the Consultation Content

The reader was preparing to move away from parents with a tendency for emotional abuse, but their new address was discovered. As a result, the emotional abuse from the parents worsened, and when they consulted the police, they were advised that “since the address is known, it would be better not to go there.” They are currently at a friend’s house but feel anxious about whether they have discussed this with their friend. The key point here is that the police recognize that emotional abuse is an “abnormal situation.” In fact, emotional abuse is a form of psychological maltreatment that can have serious effects on the victim. Therefore, it is very reassuring to know that there are specialized organizations and police who take your situation seriously.

Legal Perspective on Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be legally categorized as “psychological maltreatment,” but there are no specific legal standards for it. Therefore, it is often difficult to prove “emotional abuse.” For example, messages or email exchanges can serve as evidence, but it is not easy to demonstrate the extent of the harm suffered. It is important to note that your mother has pointed out that you are “lying.” Legally, consulting the police is extremely important. The psychological abuse you are experiencing should not be taken lightly, and the fact that you have taken the first step to prove it is a correct judgment. Whether or not you are lying should be considered based on the pain you are feeling. If you are feeling enough pain to want to consult the police, then that pain is real, and your actions are justified.

The Significance of Leaving Home

In response to the question, “Should I go back home?” my opinion is clear: you absolutely should not go back. The fact that you left to escape emotional abuse is a necessary action to protect your own mental health. It is important to maintain distance from your parents until your emotional wounds heal. Staying at a friend’s house is a very significant choice for you. If your friend understands your situation, you should cherish that relationship. I understand the hesitation you may feel about discussing your circumstances, but your friend wants to help you, so it might be okay to respond to that feeling.

Future Actions

I believe it is best to continue staying at your friend’s house. As advised by the police, it is important to keep your whereabouts confidential. If you were to return home, the risk of being exposed to emotional abuse again would increase. Legally, maintaining the current situation will ensure your safety. Additionally, if you find that you need emotional support in the future, consider seeking counseling. Consulting with a professional counselor or psychologist can help you sort out your emotions and think about the next steps.

Prioritizing Your Well-Being

Finally, the most important thing is to prioritize your mental health. The fear and anxiety related to emotional abuse are very painful, but to overcome that, it is essential to protect yourself first. Relying on someone is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a testament to your strength. I hope you can gradually move forward and find comfort in your new environment. For those in similar situations, I want to emphasize the importance of believing in your own worth. You are not someone who deserves to be subjected to emotional abuse. Trust that there are better options for your future, and take small steps forward.