Question from a reader:
My daughter, who is in her third year of middle school, is dating an 18-year-old boyfriend, and I’m having trouble with her going out late at night. Recently, she came home at 10 PM, only to have her boyfriend come pick her up again and go out. The noise from the car is quite loud, and it’s
very bothersome inside the house. I scolded her, saying, “Enough already,” but she went out without listening at all. I consulted the police, but it seems they won’t respond immediately. If I report to the police now, what kind of impact will it have on her boyfriend? Also, is it okay to call 110? Or would it be better to contact the nearest police station?

Legal Perspective on a Middle School Daughter Going Out at Night with Her Boyfriend

Hello! Today, I want to discuss a somewhat sensitive topic. This is a consultation about “a middle school daughter dating an 18-year-old boyfriend and having trouble with her going out late at night.” As a parent myself, I understand how concerning such situations can be. Hearing that she goes out late at night fills any parent with anxiety. Now, let’s think together about how to specifically address this situation.

Parental Concerns About Going Out at Night

First of all, I completely understand the feelings of parents in this situation. A third-year middle school student is still a child, and the idea of going out late at night is a constant source of worry. Additionally, having an 18-year-old boyfriend raises concerns about the age difference. Children at this age often begin to develop a sense of independence and may not listen to their parents as much. However, it is natural for parents to worry about whether their child might encounter danger or if their behavior is appropriate. Yet, it can be difficult to draw the line between what is “freedom” and what is “going too far.” The key point here is how to balance the child’s “freedom” with the parent’s “concerns.”

The Impact of Reporting to the Police

Now, there is the option of consulting the police, but what kind of impact could this have? The police are an important institution for protecting children’s safety, but depending on the content of the report, it could also affect the boyfriend’s life. For example, if you report to the police that “my daughter is going out late at night with her 18-year-old boyfriend,” the police will likely come to check on the situation. If the boyfriend is engaging in any harmful behavior towards a minor, the police will take strict action. However, if the report is simply about “going out late at night,” it is questionable how much action the police can take. In reality, the police often find it difficult to intervene in “family issues.” They usually only provide a “warning” to the boyfriend. Therefore, before making a report, I recommend considering other approaches first.

Is Contacting the Nearest Police Station the Best Option?

So, would it be better to consult the nearest police station instead of calling 110? I would recommend contacting the nearest police station first. At the police station, you may be able to have a more specific discussion, and they are likely to be more familiar with local circumstances. Additionally, the consultation desk can provide appropriate advice as needed. By honestly expressing, “I am worried about my daughter’s behavior,” you might receive some form of support.

Considering Other Solutions

Besides consulting the police, there are various other solutions. First and foremost, it is crucial to have open communication with your daughter. Start by asking, “Why do you want to go out so late?” and listen to her thoughts about her relationship with her boyfriend. Through discussion, you may gain a better understanding of her feelings and thoughts. It is also important to have some information about her boyfriend. Knowing who he is and what kind of person he is may alleviate some of your worries as a parent. Of course, if it’s difficult to meet him directly, gathering information from your daughter’s friends or his friends can also be a good approach.

Conclusion

The situation of a middle school daughter going out late at night with her 18-year-old boyfriend is understandably concerning for parents. Consulting the police is one option, but before making a report, it is essential to try to resolve the issue through communication first. If consulting the nearest police station seems like it could provide some support, that should also be considered. Additionally, discussing the situation with friends or trusted individuals can help lighten your own emotional burden. Encountering various issues is unavoidable as children grow up. However, by providing as much support as possible as a parent and building a trusting relationship, you can ultimately lead to better solutions.