Question from a reader:
Recently, I have been troubled by family issues. A verbal argument escalated to the point where my father restrained my sister. I felt it was dangerous and called the police, but my father ended up staying at a hotel for just today. The police told me, “Call us anytime,” but my mother said, “Don’t call casually,” which
makes me feel guilty. I’m worried about what to do after my father returns tomorrow and how to interact with my mother today. Normally, my father is fine, but when something like this happens, it becomes awkward. What should I do?
Introduction
Troubles and violence within families are very delicate issues that require multifaceted consideration from legal, psychological, and ethical perspectives. Particularly in cases like yours, where the situation escalated to the point of calling the police, it is important to address the aftermath and sort through your emotions. Below, I will provide insights on the legal aspects, psychological analysis, ethical considerations, and practical advice.
Understanding the Legal Aspects
First, let’s consider this issue from a legal standpoint. In Japan, domestic violence (DV) is recognized as a serious legal issue, and there are several laws aimed at protecting victims. Specifically, there is the “Domestic Violence Prevention Law,” which obligates the police to respond promptly to incidents of domestic violence. When you report to the police, they can assess the situation at home and issue protection orders if necessary. The fact that your father is temporarily staying at a hotel is a measure taken to ensure safety within the household. This temporary response is an important step in reducing the risk of further violence. If domestic violence continues in the future, further legal measures may be necessary. Considering filing a criminal complaint or seeking damages through a civil lawsuit are options to explore. These procedures require specialized knowledge, so consulting a lawyer is advisable.
Psychological Considerations
Next, let’s analyze the psychological aspects. Family disputes often lead to long-term stress or trauma. In particular, acts of violence within the family can have serious psychological effects not only on the victims but also on other family members who witness the events. Research by psychologists indicates that children affected by domestic violence are more likely to face difficulties in interpersonal relationships and emotional regulation in the future. The “guilty feelings” you are experiencing likely stem from psychological burdens or guilt. Such feelings can hinder actions aimed at resolving family issues, so it’s important to be cautious. Feeling a sense of responsibility is a natural reaction, but your decision to call the police was justified, and you do not need to blame yourself. Moreover, when the quality of communication within the family deteriorates, misunderstandings and emotional entanglements can arise, leading to further conflicts. Ensuring psychological safety and promoting open dialogue will be key to improving the family environment moving forward.
Ethical Considerations
From an ethical standpoint, this issue is also significant. Violence within the family is considered an ethically unacceptable act. Families should support one another and provide a safe environment, and violence is the opposite of that. Your decision to seek help from the police is ethically justified and necessary for building relationships with other family members. Your mother’s comment about not calling casually may stem from resistance or fear of exposing family issues publicly. However, when violence occurs, it is crucial to respond appropriately, and hesitating to do so can lead to further danger.
Practical Advice
Now, let’s discuss specific advice on how to proceed in the future.
1. Ensure a Safe Environment
After your father returns, the top priority should be safety. To create an environment where all family members feel secure, consider avoiding direct conversations with your father if necessary. If the situation allows, involving a third party (a trusted relative or friend) in discussions can be effective.
2. Foster Open Communication
To improve your relationship with your mother, open and honest communication is essential. It is important to express your feelings and thoughts candidly and discuss the concerns that everyone in the family has. Particularly, it is necessary to work together as a family to consider how to prevent the recurrence of violent behavior.
3. Seek Professional Help
If needed, consider seeking help from a psychological counselor or a professional experienced in family issues. Professional support can assist in understanding the root of the problems and help in making improvements.
4. Consider Legal Measures
If you feel that your father’s behavior may lead to dangerous situations again, do not hesitate to contact the police once more. Taking legal action is an important option for ensuring the safety of the entire family.
Conclusion
Violence and troubles within families are very challenging issues, intertwined with many emotions and legal perspectives. Your action of calling the police was justified and represents a step towards improving the family environment. It is important to prioritize open communication and seek professional help if necessary to build a safe environment for all family members. Ultimately, I hope you will take care of your own feelings and safety while working to resolve the issues affecting the family as a whole. I would also love for you to share your thoughts and experiences.
