Question from a reader:
I am currently in divorce mediation. I have hired a lawyer and we are progressing with financial arrangements regarding child support, children’s education expenses, property division, and claims for the division of marital expenses. My wife is currently repaying a mortgage on our house and wants to continue living there. She seems to be in a hurry
to divorce, possibly to receive child allowances, as she has a new partner. My lawyer advised me that since the cost of marital expenses can exceed child support, it would be better to finalize the financial arrangements after I remove my name from the registry, as doing so beforehand could increase the marital expenses. Is it common to decide on money and child support after the divorce? Also, while my wife wants to continue living in the house, I would like to sell it. I want her to move out so we can split the sale proceeds, but is it acceptable to sell the house after the divorce?

Considering Financial Arrangements During Divorce Mediation

Hello everyone. Today, I want to talk about financial arrangements during divorce mediation. This is particularly relevant to the situation you are facing. I have had similar experiences in the past, so I will share my thoughts with empathy.

Financial Arrangements After Divorce

First, regarding how to proceed with financial arrangements and child support during divorce mediation, this is a very important point. There are several reasons for the lawyer’s suggestion to remove your name from the registry before deciding on financial matters. I have a friend who, during divorce mediation, decided to hold off on removing their name from the registry until all financial issues were resolved, resulting in unnecessary marital expenses. Marital expenses refer to the obligation to pay living expenses to a spouse, and if this drags on, the burden can become significant. As the lawyer mentioned, it is not uncommon for marital expenses to exceed child support, especially if the mediation takes a long time, which can lead to additional costs. That is why removing your name from the registry before making arrangements for child support and property division can be a wise option. However, this should be decided after carefully considering your own situation and that of your children. It is essential to maintain good communication with your lawyer throughout this process.

Arrangements Regarding the House

Next, regarding the issue of the house, I understand your wife’s desire to continue living there. However, if you want to sell the house, this can be a challenging issue. Legally, there is no problem with selling real estate after the divorce, but if your wife wishes to continue living in the house, discussions are necessary. In fact, a friend of mine faced a similar situation. His wife wanted to continue living in their home, but he also wanted to start a new life. Ultimately, he decided to sell the house and split the proceeds. Initially, there was resistance, but after taking the time to discuss it, they reached a mutually agreeable solution. In your case, it is important to calmly discuss the situation with your wife first. Clearly explaining the reasons for the sale and how the proceeds will be divided can make it easier to reach an agreement. Additionally, involving a lawyer in the discussions can be beneficial. Receiving legal advice can often help things progress more smoothly.

Prioritizing the Children

Of course, all these financial arrangements should prioritize the best interests of the children. We must make the best choices for them, considering child support, education expenses, and their living environment. You may be concerned that your wife is rushing the divorce for child allowances, but as a parent, you must provide as much support as possible for your children. As a father, I have often found myself troubled when thinking about my children’s future. However, it is essential to make the best choices for them. Sometimes, seeking the opinions of professionals can be very helpful in sorting out your own emotions.

The Importance of Sorting Out Emotions

Divorce is a highly emotional process, so it is crucial to maintain your composure. I have often found myself swayed by emotions when making significant decisions. Financial issues, in particular, can be challenging to separate from emotions. However, no matter what decisions you make, it is ultimately your life, so it is important to strive for choices that you won’t regret. If you are currently struggling during divorce mediation, take the time to sort out your feelings and consider what is most important. After that, it is crucial to have a solid discussion with your wife and maintain communication with your lawyer.

Summary and Advice

Finally, I would like to summarize the key points regarding financial arrangements and the issue of the house during divorce mediation: 1. It may be a wise choice to proceed with financial arrangements after removing your name from the registry: to reduce the burden of marital expenses. 2. It is important to discuss the handling of the house calmly: respect each other’s opinions and strive for an agreement. 3. Prioritize the children’s best interests: fulfill your responsibilities as a parent. 4. Aim for calm judgment while sorting out emotions: incorporating professional opinions can also be effective. Consider these points and find the best solution for your situation. Above all, do not forget your own happiness and focus on moving forward. I am cheering for you!