Question from a reader:
I heard that the statute of limitations for infidelity is three years from the time you learn about it, but how can I prove exactly when I learned about it?

About the Statute of Limitations for Infidelity and How to Prove It

Considering the statute of limitations for infidelity, or the moment you learn about it, is a
very delicate topic. As a legal expert and a student majoring in psychology, I would like to approach this issue. In particular, I want to explore how difficult it is to specifically prove “when you learned about it” and how that can affect the situation.

What is the Statute of Limitations for Infidelity?

First, let’s clarify the statute of limitations regarding infidelity. Under Japanese civil law, the statute of limitations for claims for damages based on unlawful acts is generally three years from the time the damage is known. However, in cases of infidelity, the damage can be emotional distress or loss of reputation, which are difficult to quantify, making it crucial to determine exactly “when” this knowledge was acquired. Consider the case of my friend. She had been living with her partner for a long time, but one day, a friend told her, “He is cheating on you.” That friend’s testimony marked the moment she “knew.” What is important here is how she acted after receiving that information and how much she believed it.

What Does It Mean to “Know”?

The state of “knowing” is not merely about receiving information. Psychologically, it includes the process of “believing.” For example, if she thought, “That’s a lie,” when she heard it from her friend, she cannot be said to have actually “known” the fact of the infidelity at that moment. Similarly, if she found direct evidence (such as emails or messages), the timing of when she is considered to have “known” can vary based on her mental readiness and acceptance of the information. In fact, the difficulty in proving this lies in the psychological process. The law proceeds logically, but human emotions and thoughts are very complex. In some cases, a person may not be able to “believe” the information at the moment they receive it and may only accept the truth years later.

How to Prove It

So, how can one specifically prove “when they learned about it”? Several methods can be considered.

1. Collecting Evidence

The most reliable method is to gather concrete evidence. For example, it is important to keep records of messages or phone calls from friends, or to note down what was seen or heard directly. Having such evidence makes it easier to legally prove the fact that one “knew.”

2. Presence of Witnesses

If possible, asking friends or acquaintances who shared the same information to testify can also be a strategy. If they can testify, “At that time, you knew this information,” it can serve as proof.

3. Recording Your Actions

Your actions after learning about the infidelity can also be important evidence. For instance, keeping a record of discussions with your partner stemming from disbelief, or the content of consultations with friends can be helpful. Keeping a diary of your feelings and actions at that time allows you to demonstrate how you felt and acted when looking back later.

Considering the Psychological Aspects

The law requires calm judgment, but emotionally, it is not that simple. The emotional turmoil at the moment of receiving information and the process of actually accepting that fact can vary greatly from person to person. This is part of the difficulty in proving it. For example, when an acquaintance of mine learned about infidelity, she initially could not believe it and repeatedly questioned whether what she saw and heard was real. Ultimately, she struggled to process that event in her mind for months. During that time, she blamed herself and felt confused. Such processes can also influence whether one is legally considered to have “known.”

Conclusion: The Statute of Limitations for Infidelity and Psychological Proof

Understanding that the statute of limitations for infidelity is three years from the time of knowledge, I have considered what that state of “knowing” entails and how to prove it. The issue of infidelity is a very complex one that includes not only legal perspectives but also psychological aspects. Therefore, it is crucial to gather concrete evidence, obtain witness testimonies, and record one’s own actions. Ultimately, both legal and emotional issues need to be treated with care. How one responds upon learning the truth of infidelity varies from person to person, but it is essential to acknowledge one’s feelings and act calmly. This can be said to be an indispensable step in overcoming legal issues. This theme is not something that concerns only others; it is relevant to many people. I hope that this discussion provides a deeper understanding from both legal and psychological perspectives.