Question from a reader:
Thank you for your previous response regarding parental alienation harassment. After consulting with the Child Consultation Center and a law firm, I was informed that divorce mediation is possible, but they said there is nothing that can be done about my leave of absence due to the harassment I experienced. It seems the advertisements on LINE were
exaggerated. Recently, I received a message from my wife’s lawyer stating that they would apply for mediation to require me to pay 130,000 yen in spousal support in exchange for meeting our child for one hour once a month at a family restaurant. However, just sitting across from each other at a family restaurant means I cannot hold or play with my child. I cannot accept being asked for 130,000 yen just to see their face. According to the Ministry of Justice’s guidelines, 110,000 yen is considered appropriate based on annual income. In this situation, does the father have no choice but to silently pay 130,000 yen? I would like to hear everyone’s opinions.
Considering Visitation with Children and Spousal Support Mediation
Recently, I received a very interesting question from a reader. This concerns the issue of visitation with children and spousal support in divorce mediation. Specifically, the situation involves being asked to pay 130,000 yen in spousal support in exchange for a monthly meeting at a family restaurant. How should one handle such a situation? This time, I would like to examine this issue from both legal and psychological perspectives.
What is Spousal Support?
First, let’s review what spousal support is. Spousal support refers to the necessary expenses for the wife and children to live during divorce mediation or litigation. This is based on the idea that the partner with a higher income has an obligation to support the partner with a lower income, meaning that even after separation, both parties still have a duty to support each other. However, this amount is not uniform and varies based on income, standard of living, and the number of children. As the questioner mentioned, the Ministry of Justice’s guidelines consider 110,000 yen to be appropriate based on annual income. However, is the 130,000 yen proposed by the wife’s lawyer a reasonable amount? This could change during negotiations in mediation.
The Significance of Visitation at a Family Restaurant
Next, let’s consider visitation at a family restaurant. Indeed, just sitting across from each other makes it difficult to deepen the relationship with the child. Not being able to hold or play with them is a very disappointing situation for a father. To build a bond with the child, having quality time together is essential. From a psychological perspective, interaction with the father also provides emotional stability for the child. If the quality of visitation is low, there are concerns that it could negatively impact the child’s emotional development. Considering how the father might feel in such a situation, it is natural for feelings of anger and dissatisfaction to build up.
Exploring Acceptable Solutions
Now, the questioner wonders, “Do I have no choice but to silently pay 130,000 yen?” There are several options to consider regarding this point. First, it would be wise to file an objection to the amount proposed in mediation. Using the Ministry of Justice’s guidelines as a basis, it would be beneficial to explain that 110,000 yen is appropriate and explore room for negotiation. Additionally, it is important to propose ways to improve the quality of visitation. For example, discussing increasing the frequency of visits or creating a more relaxed environment could be beneficial. Next, it may also be a good idea to consider seeking professional advice through a lawyer. By enlisting the help of an expert with legal knowledge, the chances of finding a better solution increase. A lawyer can provide specific advice regarding negotiations on spousal support and visitation conditions.
Don’t Forget Psychological Support
Being in such a difficult situation can be mentally taxing. It is not uncommon to feel anxious or lonely, wondering if you are the only one suffering or if others understand your situation. Therefore, seeking psychological support is also important. Talking to a professional counselor or discussing with peers may help lighten the emotional burden. I personally feel the importance of considering both legal and psychological aspects. Especially since family-related issues involve individual emotions, often legal knowledge alone cannot resolve them. That’s why I believe psychological understanding and support are necessary.
Conclusion
The situation faced by the questioner is very challenging and stressful. The amount of 130,000 yen indeed raises some concerns. However, it is crucial to negotiate calmly while possessing legal knowledge. Additionally, efforts to improve the quality of visitation with the child are essential for maintaining a good relationship in the future. Ultimately, I also feel that the happiness of the child should be the top priority. Even in such a complex situation, it is necessary to cherish the relationship with the child while seeking the best possible solution.
