Question from a reader:
“I feel like people who dismiss concerns by saying ‘You’re overthinking it’ don’t really consider the other person’s feelings. What do you think?”
What does ‘overthinking’ mean?
Recently, I was chatting with a friend when they told me, “You’re overthinking it.” Honestly, I felt a bit annoyed in that moment. The fact that they said that made
me feel like they didn’t understand my feelings or worries at all. Especially when my mind is overwhelmed with the stresses of parenting or work, hearing those words felt like being told, “Yes, your concerns are completely ignored!”
I want you to listen to my inner voice
It’s true that overthinking can sometimes lead us to put too much pressure on ourselves. However, there are times when those worries are genuinely important, and we just want someone to empathize with us. When I’m told, “You’re overthinking it,” it feels like my inner voice is being silenced. I remember a time when I stayed up late with a friend, eating snacks and talking deeply. I was struggling with thoughts like, “Why am I such a failure?” and my friend responded with a laugh, “No, that’s not true! If the snacks are good, that’s all that matters!” In that moment, I felt a little lighter. It’s really important to have someone who listens to your worries seriously.
There is a possibility of overthinking, but…
Of course, I recognize that I can sometimes overthink things myself. For example, when my child caught a cold recently, I found myself worrying if I had done something wrong. However, a friend reassured me by saying, “You’re doing great; you haven’t done anything wrong,” which helped me feel a bit better. This is why I believe it’s essential to understand the feelings of others.
What’s your experience?
What do you all think? Have you ever been told, “You’re overthinking it”? How did you feel at that moment, and how did you overcome it? Please share your thoughts in the comments! I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s experiences. Let’s chat casually, perhaps while snacking on some treats together!
